My Review of Chocolote
My Review of Chocolate...
Choclolates always brings smile to our faces.. Its applies truly to me too.. I love their sweetness..and did someone tell me, well here is one for u to take, to relish.. the director of chocolate ' Mr.Whatsover', though I know his name.. do i care.. offered me the film.. It was carefully packaged like all chocolates are.. mouthwatering as they look..
This one smelt like fresh.. packaged with faces we all know.. Anil Kapoor( Mr.Versatile), Irffan Khan( Paisa Vasool Actor), some bit of sleaze( thanks or no thanks to Tanushree Dutta) and oomph (The other Reddy sister, though she didnt oomph me much since times)..our desi arnie swachz( Suniel Shetty), Mr Kisser( Emraan Hashmi) and our Circuit( Arshad warsi, think he was short circuited before he chose to act this one). Packaged with a difference.. a mystery.. deep dark.. secrets..
Well as I sat thru the opening sequences.. with mr.versatile.. unshaven.. smoking cigars.. and a poor bland narration.. of his kahaani.. I instanly smelt a rat.. I waited though coz every step in failure is a road to success.. it moved.. sequences to sequences.. I was seeing Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction unfold.. rather being pulped i wud put it.. screens moved in all directions.. Worse, 2 poor Indian lads get caught in a drama of dialouges and their past.. whizzing past their past and the present.. the story took turns and took them poorly..it was caught admist the most illogical dialouges that Indian screens had long ceased to forget.. it all was meant to confuse the lawyer( Mr. versatile) and mrs.Un Oompha( the other reddy, though i was never this ready, she delivers a note saying that she wears a Bra too, though I knew she didnt need one). Roughing past the sequences it confused( were they supposed to??????)..confuse me..
It cooked and cooked and cooked until it burnt.. like someone at home forgot to shut the gas.. below it rotted.. and made us unnerving.. unserving.. She the new bong babe tries hard to unclothe.. but will our censors allow..Cut it I say.. her smile though spoils it all.. and our macho man Sunil tries to deliver( after a spate of experience, this guy cant act). He shouts wildly.. how he loves Sim(Tanushree).. asks her to marry.. but wait.. her conditions are here.. tum mujhe chaand laake do..main haan keh doongi.. chaand was supposed to mean money..watch for the proposing sequence mr.macho delivers..
Roll over.. there are fights.. and with coming of age of Indian cinema.. this one looks amateurish.. a bank robbery of guess what 20 Billion pounds( did the director know his sums).. and that too in just a couple of bags.. packed and driven.. the robbery scene in the truck at the Mumbai Expressway tunnel ( this tunnel has no end).. and the lasers in the truck.. sunil didnt learn much from Catherine Zeta( The Entrapment)..who wud want him to.. and all this for a name so funnily in the movie happens to chuckle u thruout.. some Mushai##@%^^^.. watch it for the name..and the fear it tries to create.. for all of us had to forget Gabbars name..else Mushai#@@##$@ wud chop u.. and arshad warsi tries hard at the passwords( he is a hacker).. no one gave him a blowout as in Swordfish..
A beautiful car enters and out comes a motu.. he looks like.. forget that. how on earth does he fit in that vehicle.. watch it.. for if u are a car freak.. this one will freak u out.. in the sequences 3 people in the gang get killed.. twice.. over
Dialouges keep getting messy..and out of place.. story heads no where.. circa to the court drama.. thanx the director didnt put some elements in that one.. out they come.. acquitted of all charges.. and they run.. for their lives.. the dead come back.. and see how.. the ending of the movie was good.. it seemed to have stemmed into great.. but alas the story wudnt just support it.. If someone wants to see good cinema rot.. come watch this..for the year gave us a few highs.. filmmaking concept taught.. to make poor cinema.. in all senses..
poor me lad and my dost.. what we tasted in entirety was a soap.. made to look like a chocolate.. wrapped beautifully.. God help Indian Cinema..and mr director.. who in the magz claims that his film is a superior product.. Dosent he think its what the consumer decides not him.
Sailesh C.Critic.
Choclolates always brings smile to our faces.. Its applies truly to me too.. I love their sweetness..and did someone tell me, well here is one for u to take, to relish.. the director of chocolate ' Mr.Whatsover', though I know his name.. do i care.. offered me the film.. It was carefully packaged like all chocolates are.. mouthwatering as they look..
This one smelt like fresh.. packaged with faces we all know.. Anil Kapoor( Mr.Versatile), Irffan Khan( Paisa Vasool Actor), some bit of sleaze( thanks or no thanks to Tanushree Dutta) and oomph (The other Reddy sister, though she didnt oomph me much since times)..our desi arnie swachz( Suniel Shetty), Mr Kisser( Emraan Hashmi) and our Circuit( Arshad warsi, think he was short circuited before he chose to act this one). Packaged with a difference.. a mystery.. deep dark.. secrets..
Well as I sat thru the opening sequences.. with mr.versatile.. unshaven.. smoking cigars.. and a poor bland narration.. of his kahaani.. I instanly smelt a rat.. I waited though coz every step in failure is a road to success.. it moved.. sequences to sequences.. I was seeing Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction unfold.. rather being pulped i wud put it.. screens moved in all directions.. Worse, 2 poor Indian lads get caught in a drama of dialouges and their past.. whizzing past their past and the present.. the story took turns and took them poorly..it was caught admist the most illogical dialouges that Indian screens had long ceased to forget.. it all was meant to confuse the lawyer( Mr. versatile) and mrs.Un Oompha( the other reddy, though i was never this ready, she delivers a note saying that she wears a Bra too, though I knew she didnt need one). Roughing past the sequences it confused( were they supposed to??????)..confuse me..
It cooked and cooked and cooked until it burnt.. like someone at home forgot to shut the gas.. below it rotted.. and made us unnerving.. unserving.. She the new bong babe tries hard to unclothe.. but will our censors allow..Cut it I say.. her smile though spoils it all.. and our macho man Sunil tries to deliver( after a spate of experience, this guy cant act). He shouts wildly.. how he loves Sim(Tanushree).. asks her to marry.. but wait.. her conditions are here.. tum mujhe chaand laake do..main haan keh doongi.. chaand was supposed to mean money..watch for the proposing sequence mr.macho delivers..
Roll over.. there are fights.. and with coming of age of Indian cinema.. this one looks amateurish.. a bank robbery of guess what 20 Billion pounds( did the director know his sums).. and that too in just a couple of bags.. packed and driven.. the robbery scene in the truck at the Mumbai Expressway tunnel ( this tunnel has no end).. and the lasers in the truck.. sunil didnt learn much from Catherine Zeta( The Entrapment)..who wud want him to.. and all this for a name so funnily in the movie happens to chuckle u thruout.. some Mushai##@%^^^.. watch it for the name..and the fear it tries to create.. for all of us had to forget Gabbars name..else Mushai#@@##$@ wud chop u.. and arshad warsi tries hard at the passwords( he is a hacker).. no one gave him a blowout as in Swordfish..
A beautiful car enters and out comes a motu.. he looks like.. forget that. how on earth does he fit in that vehicle.. watch it.. for if u are a car freak.. this one will freak u out.. in the sequences 3 people in the gang get killed.. twice.. over
Dialouges keep getting messy..and out of place.. story heads no where.. circa to the court drama.. thanx the director didnt put some elements in that one.. out they come.. acquitted of all charges.. and they run.. for their lives.. the dead come back.. and see how.. the ending of the movie was good.. it seemed to have stemmed into great.. but alas the story wudnt just support it.. If someone wants to see good cinema rot.. come watch this..for the year gave us a few highs.. filmmaking concept taught.. to make poor cinema.. in all senses..
poor me lad and my dost.. what we tasted in entirety was a soap.. made to look like a chocolate.. wrapped beautifully.. God help Indian Cinema..and mr director.. who in the magz claims that his film is a superior product.. Dosent he think its what the consumer decides not him.
Sailesh C.Critic.
posted by coolsail at 3:55 AM
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